How well do you know your family? I mean, really. Do you truly understand where each family member is coming from? What they're thinking when you're talking to them? What are their motivations and desires, and how they're going to inflict chaos on that institution that you'd like to call "Home Sweet Home"?
If all is well with your family and you're happy with the way things are going, you probably do. If things are not going so well, and you maybe sometimes thought that your family was getting a little bit dysfunctional, then you need to go back to the drawing board and reconfigure your thinking on each family member.
In business, they teach you that to motivate a team to achieve a common goal, you must first present a vision and get everyone to buy into that vision. Then you need to continually remind them of that vision in a way that inspires them to help you to achieve it.
What's your vision for your family? What does "Home Sweet Home" mean to you? Have you ever discussed this with your family? The vision needs to be a common one that everyone can agree to.
Clearly, each individual in the family has his or her own vision of what utopia is to them. Timmy's thinking Xbox 24x7 and no schoolwork. Katy's teen crush and Manga books consume her. Joe's a die-hard sports fan and beer-drinker. And Mary's happy if she can have some time to herself after she's managed to put healthy food on the table after coming home from a long day's work at her real job.
To achieve a balance and make everyone happy, each must understand what the other's end goal is. Together as a family, resolve to make that end goal possible for each family member (as long as it is legal and healthy).
Start the dialog today — and continue the dialog for a few weeks. You're sure to notice the difference!
© 2006 by Saro Saravanan.
